evoke

i hope that in the future this blog will amount to something. even if it is to just look back and entertain myself.

i started writing to keep myself sane. to stop myself from one day driving into a tree. at first i never cared if people read these messages to myself. the sadder i get, the more poetic my words become. as you can tell, i’m not too sad today.

but lately, people have been reading and i feel a pressure to entertain. if you’re reading this, i apologize. i can’t promise to write something entertaining. i’m too much of a bore. isuppose you are bored too, cuz you’re still reading this sad person’s confessions.

they say that a butterfly’s flutter in oklahoma can cause a tsunami in japan. or some shit. i can’t remember. if that’s true, it amazes me how so many people are lonely. there are 6.4 billion people in the world, and no one makes a move to reach them. like me. they say small things make a difference. and i believe that’s true. one person left me a comment on this thing, and for the first time, i realized that people are actually reading this. that i’m still connected to the rest of the world. that small action made a difference to me. as much as i like to convince myself that i don’t give a fuck about people reading.

the sad reality is that there’s 6.4 billion people out there. and most people don’t take those small actions that could save a life. not big things. small ones. myspace message a friend randomly. smile at someone. anything to make a single person feel connected. cuz if a fucking butterfly could make a tsunami, how much more can we do.

like that? i’m a chronically depressed idealist.